Professional victim Lauren Boebert whines about elections, swampy rooms & the "uniparty"
Dyed-in-the-wool conservative US Rep. Ken Buck (R-CO) is so disgusted by the gangrenous incivility of the GOP’s do-nothing caucus that he refuses to serve out the remainder of his term. This week, he announced that next Friday, March 22, would be his last day in Congress. On Twitter, he offered an anodyne explanation:
“Today, I am announcing I will depart Congress at the end of next week. I look forward to staying involved in our political process, as well as spending more time in Colorado and with my family.”
Buck was more forthright in a CNN interview. The fleeing politico said the House has become “dysfunctional” and Congress has:
“just devolved into this bickering and nonsense and not really doing the job for the American people.”
Adding, “It is the worst year of the nine years and three months that I’ve been in Congress and having talked to former members, it is the worst year in 40-50 years to be in Congress.”
Is he right? Of course, he is. And to prove the veracity of his analysis, his fellow Coloradan, Lauren Boebert, weighed in with another self-serving, weak-spined whine about the unfairness of it all. She blamed MAGA’s latest bugbear for Buck's premature departure. In a plaintive tweet, she explained her thinking. It did not take her long to identify the foe.
“Ken Buck’s announcement yesterday was a gift to the uniparty.”
Move over “deep state.” The “uniparty” is the MAGAs’ new bête noire. Perhaps, dear reader, you have heard of it. I had to look it up. To the conspiracy addled, Satan’s latest army comprises Republicans working with Democrats to keep the country running. To Boebert and her fellow dead-enders, comity and achievement have no place in Congress. If you are not manning the barricades, you must be sleeping with the enemy.
The knob-polisher continued:
“The establishment concocted a swampy backroom deal to try to rig an election I’m winning by 25 points.”
How very health-conscious. The miasma in the backroom is no longer cigar smoke. It is whatever Boebert means by “swampy.” (Note: Swamps are vibrant bio-diverse ecosystems. I think a better descriptor for Republicans in a room is “sewer.”)
Boebert’s vocabulary failure is second only to her innumeracy. What 25 points? The only math I have seen in Colorado 4’s Republican free-for-all is the fifth-place finish Boebert scored in the post-GOP primary debate straw poll.
Also, which establishmentarian thought the GOP would be better served with Buck opting for early retirement? So many questions — which Boebert does not answer, as she continues:
“Forcing an unnecessary Special Election [necessary because of Buck’s early resignation] on the same day as the Primary Election [which will pick the GOP candidate for the regular November election] will confuse voters, result in a lame duck Congressman on day one, and leave the 4th District with no representation for more than three months.
Her statement has no subject. We are still clueless about who is doing the “Forcing.” And she gives another example of her vocabulary troubles. “Lame duck” is an incumbent who is not running again — either because they have announced their retirement. Or because they are term-limited.
Boebert has it backward. As soon as he announced his retirement, Buck was a lame duck. After the Special Election, Colorado 4 will replace him with an incumbent who is not a lame duck. Whoever wins the June special election to finish out Buck’s term (it is a safe Republican seat) will also most likely win the GOP’s same-day primary for the regular election in November for a full term. This probable sequence of events is why Boebert is spitting nails.
To run in the special election, she would have to resign her current seat in CO’s 3rd congressional district. If she loses, she is done in DC. Boebert knows this. So, she is not resigning to run in the special election. Instead, she hopes to win the primary (for which she does not have to resign) to be the GOP candidate in the November election.
Clear as mud?
Can she forego the special election and win the primary? Not likely. She would have to rely on Republicans voting for another candidate in the special and then voting for her in the primary. As stated above, there is zero evidence she is in the top three to win a stand-alone primary, let alone one contemporaneous with an election she is not in.
Boebert continues with an unintended self-own.
“The 4th District deserves better.”
Maybe they do. But they will elect a Republican. So maybe they don’t.
Boebert then offers a fairy tale.
“I will not further imperil the already very slim House Republican majority by resigning my current seat and will continue to deliver on my constituents’ priorities while also working hard to earn the votes of the people of Colorado’s 4th District who have made clear they are hungry for a real conservative.”
You cannot continue to deliver something that you have not yet delivered. And the only thing “the people of Colorado’s 4th District” have made clear is that they want someone not named Lauren Boebert.
She ends by playing her only trump card — the Trump card.
“I am the only Trump-endorsed, America First candidate in this race and will win the 4th District’s Primary Election on June 25th and General Election on November 5th.”
It is not the ace she thinks it is. A brief survey of the GOP electoral debacles since 2017 shows that Trump’s endorsement works only when his pick would have won without it. And his endorsement has led to Democratic wins in races the GOP could have won. Ask Dr. Oz, Tim Michaels, Scott Jensen, Derek Schmidt, Mark Ronchetti, Tudor Dixon, and Sarah Palin.
Lauren Boebert has the appeal of a fart in an elevator. But America will soon reach its floor. The doors will open. And the mephitic redolence will waft away. An unpleasant memory — soon forgotten.
’Bye Felicia.