A broken-hearted Sen. Katie Britt begs for money because Democrats are laughing at patriots
“An honest witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies” — Proverbs 14:5
What do you do when you crash and burn during your national political coming-out party? Beg for money. What will salve the sting of poor reviews? Cold, hard cash. Not for you — but as Sen. Katie Britt (R-AL) explained in her new fundraising pitch, for:
“every single American who dares to stand up to their [Democrats] radical agenda. Every patriot who fights to defend their American dream."
Thus, Sen. Katie Britt (R-AL) looks to turn her widely-panned, SOTU-rebuttal turn as a breathless Stepford tradwife into campaign gold.
And why should she not? Her North Star and guiding light, the wife-raping adulterer, ‘Honest Don’ Trump, has transmogrified incompetence into bank by relying on the MAGA morons and their poor fiscal decisions.
In her fund-raising plea, the newly infamous Britt cast the Democrats as anti-woman, anti-family, anti-Britt character assassins.
"Following my speech, the left-wing media didn't waste a second flooding the airwaves with despicable, disgusting messages about me. They attacked my character. They attacked my faith. They attacked my identity as a mother and a wife."
Katie finds things between the lines the rest of us cannot see. Yes, many ridiculed her whispered, dystopian, performative paranoia. Fact-checkers shredded her glib and practiced lie. And some questioned the kitchen mis-en-scène.
But the Senator herself opened the door for scathing reviews by choosing to sublimate her professional success into the wide-eyed, breathy persona of a pre-feminist apologist. And it was she who told the verifiable howler that the sex trafficking of a 12-year-old girl in Mexico during the Bush years was Biden’s fault. An egregious fiction contravening the Ninth Commandment. A lie the cross-wearing confabulator should be ashamed of — if she were capable of shame.
Besides, the poor reviews were bipartisan. One Trump advisor asked, “What the hell am I watching right now?” And another Republican strategist opined, “It’s one of our biggest disasters ever.”
Britt needs to brush up on her Bible. She should start with Deuteronomy 19:18-19 and its remedy for perjurers.
“¹⁸The judges must make a thorough investigation, and if the witness proves to be a liar, giving false testimony against a fellow Israelite, ¹⁹then do to the false witness as that witness intended to do to the other party. You must purge the evil from among you.”
In other words, an honest biblical Christian would demand Britt quit after she demanded Americans fire Biden for a crime he did not commit. But do not hold your breath. Republicans will allow evil to remain among them.
Britt goes on:
"My heart is broken. Not just for myself, but for my children, your children and the ENTIRE next generation of Americans. Why? Because I didn't prepare a 20-minute speech and stand up to Biden in front of millions of Americans for ME. I did it for them, for YOU and your children, Friend!"
I did not know BRITT had done what she did for ME and my offspring. That must mean I am not her Friend! She also does not have to break her heart for my children. Whenever their father screws up, they either laugh or cringe in embarrassment — but they are plenty tough.
Britt adds:
"Friend, they're not just laughing at me. They're laughing at every single American who dares to stand up to their radical agenda. Every patriot who fights to defend their American dream."
Do not sell yourself short, Katie. You alone are the punchline of this joke. Many think that MAGAs are morons. But Americans are concerned their idiocy will lead to fascism. And they do not consider that funny.
Britt’s biblical ignorance is matched only by her poor understanding of patriotism. in North Korea, adulation of tyranny is a national virtue. In America, it is the antithesis of love for country. In the US, patriotism is not a synonym for anti-democratism. And insurrectionists, their political enablers, and media apologists are unAmerican saboteurs.
Britt wraps up her plea for money by painting Democrats as weak.
"Because they can't handle the truth. The truth about their failed leader."
“Failed leader”? By what metric? Employment is up. Inflation is down. GDP is growing. The stock market is setting records. Crime is down. No American troops have died in foreign wars since Biden got us out of Afghanistan.
If Britt is referring to immigration, then she must blame Trump and the craven congressional cowards whose only political policy is job retention — theirs.
Fortunately for Britt, she does not have to worry about her future employment. Her Senate seat is safe. And as long as she keeps her lips locked on orange ass, she will not be meaningfully primaried.
As for fundraising, she does not have to do what she promises the MAGAs she will do. These are people seduced by promises, not achievement. And to that end, they believe their politicians have achieved something when they have done nothing.